A mother and her daughter developed a strong bond when her father moved to live with his new family.
But a week before her graduation celebration, the daughter went to her mother and said she wanted to invite her father, who she had been estranged from.
The caveat was that her dad could only go if she consented to one thing.
On June 1, 2022, a female narrator who wishes to remain anonymous posted the narrative on the “AITA” subreddit. Despite her parents’ divorce before her birth, 18-year-old B, the lady’s daughter, remained close to her father during her early years. The lady was forty years old.
However, when she was eight years old, her father got married, which caused him to become distant and abandon her in favor of his new family. Notably, this abandonment made B behave in a more rebellious manner. Despite her struggles, B seemed to be doing rather well while going to treatment.
What Was Upsetting the Woman?
B hadn’t seen her father since she was twelve years old, and the few times they had spoken it was to exchange meaningless vows of reconciliation. Despite this, B and her mother were quite close and spent much of their time together. It demonstrates how close they were when B referred to her mother as her “best friend.”
The woman was becoming excited as B’s graduation date approached. However, B informed her mother a week before the graduation celebration that she would like to invite her father and his kid. Her father had threatened to cancel the celebration if he attended, so she wouldn’t be allowed to go.
The woman was furious with B because she thought that B had deceived her and caused her misery. In her reply, B expressed her want for her father to be present at important life events, just as her mother had been at many of them. This disagreement made their argument more heated.
The mother pleaded with her daughter the night before the commencement ceremony, in a desperate attempt to change her mind. B firmly said, “I’m sorry, but I’m not reevaluating my decision.” Sadly, the woman passed away, her soul crushed under sorrow. She sobbed until her sister comforted her and suggested they go out to divert their attention during the graduation, to which she obediently consented.
On graduation day, what took place?
The morning before the commencement ceremony, the mother heard her daughter crying. With a quick peek at the time, she realized that the ceremony would begin in a little while. Feeling confused, she asked B why she hadn’t left yet.
When B informed her that her father had abandoned her once more, she ceased to respond in a voice full of disappointment. The mother gave her daughter a loving embrace and encouraged her to enjoy her graduation ceremony despite everything
Afraid that she would be the only one without parents, B asked whether her mother would be coming now that her father wasn’t. She stated she was sorry once again, but she already had plans. B cried out to her mother, calling her a bad mother, in her anguish.
The mother was determined to teach her daughter that her decisions have consequences, so much so that she chose not to attend the ceremony, even though it hurt her heart. Since B came back from the graduation, she has not spoken, seeming very depressed and as though she had been crying for a very long time.
The woman was now struggling with regret, fearing that her choice had been too harsh. Even though her sister supported her decision, she felt bad about it after hearing from another parent about B’s apparent unhappiness during the graduation. The mother sought counseling amid her internal battle, questioning whether trying to teach her daughter a lesson was the right thing to do. An Additional Discouraging Discussion
An Additional Discouraging Discussion
One day after sending her first message, she gave her followers an update on the situation. She said that for the last 10 years, B, her daughter, had been living covertly with her father. Throughout her sessions with B’s therapist, there was no indication of manipulation; instead, B seemed to be holding on to a romanticized recollection of her time with her father.
The mother apologized for skipping the graduation and told her daughter how she felt excluded and undervalued. B claimed she loved you, apologized, and wanted things to return to normal.
An Additional Discouraging Discussion
One day after sending her first message, she gave her followers an update on the situation. She said that for the last 10 years, B, her daughter, had been living covertly with her father. Throughout her sessions with B’s therapist, there was no indication of manipulation; instead, B seemed to be holding on to a romanticized recollection of her time with her father.
The mother apologized for skipping the graduation and told her daughter how she felt excluded and undervalued. B claimed she loved you, apologized, and wanted things to return to normal
B insisted that since she felt more at ease in her father’s presence, it was a wise choice to not invite her mother. The woman proceeded to confront B about how she had handled her emotionally because of how this had made her feel. B remained steadfast in her position, declaring that her father would always come first, no matter what.
The woman was enraged and resentful, and she knew that if B’s actions persisted, she would eventually be unable to bear it any longer. Though she realized it would backfire, the mother let out her frustration at being regarded less seriously than her daughter’s father.
She was concerned if she would be willing to continue this pattern for upcoming anniversaries like marriages or graduations, even though she had vowed to be there for B in the future. She was disappointed that she had ignored the advice of most of the internet community, which believed her to be “NTA.”
What Happened Next
The mother considered how she had handled the situation in her October 2022 post, and she acknowledged that asking her daughter whether she regretted inviting her had been a very immature move on her part. Despite being referred to as her daughter’s “best friend,” she still had a parental role to fulfill, which included correcting her.
Following the incident at graduation, the mother attempted to contact her daughter’s father (referred to as F), but she received nothing except a letter in return. F said that their daughter had forcefully attacked and threatened him and his family, which made him distance himself from her.
He claimed to have made an effort to build a good rapport with B, but in reality, he accused her of stalking and threatening his family. The lady told B about these allegations, and B went to confront her, holding her responsible for the breakup of her father-daughter relationship. B quickly stopped talking to anyone and broke off all contact when she moved away for college.
The woman was in pain, but she was relieved since she felt that her self-worth had been damaged during the process. After starting therapy and seeing some relief, she felt confident enough to go on a date again after 10 years of abstinence. She acknowledged that there were many challenges they had to face in their difficult connection with B.