Most old families have certain traditions that they abide by. And while most family traditions are innocuous, there are some which can be quite cringe-inducing. If one was born into one such family, then it is definitely a tough journey- but they get used to it. On the other hand, anyone who marries into the family would also have to start adopting those traditions as their own- even if they don’t believe or agree with them.
There are certain family traditions in the Middle East, like Mongolia, where the groom would have to chase and butcher a chicken in order to show his strength, ability, and love in front of his fiance’s family. While the OP of this Reddit post will not have to do something that archaic, they were asked to wine and dine with their future mother-in-law, which is exactly as creepy as you think it sounds. We are not against love- just traditions that make absolutely no sense.
Family Tradition Where Future SIL Spends A Night With MIL
In a r/AITA post, OP mentioned, “My girlfriend and I have been dating for four years and engaged for one. Not too long after we had been dating she told me about her family’s tradition for marriage. She said that the boy must take the mother of the bride out on a date night, buy her a dress and something to sleep in, pay for everything, and buy them a hotel to stay in. She said that it’s nothing to be worried or freaked out about and that getting the hotel doesn’t mean you have to sleep together.” How gracious of them to mention the last bit! Even if they don’t have to sleep together, this is terribly weird and creepy.
Initially, OP didn’t believe in it. “I laughed a little bit and asked if she was serious. She said that she was. I had a hard time believing it but I didn’t care to discuss it anymore. We never really talked about it, until this past week. I had honestly pretty much forgotten about it. My girlfriend and I have our wedding in less than a month. We were talking about wedding stuff and she asked me if I had picked out what her mom and I were going to do for our date night. I laughed it off and waited for her to move on. She didn’t, she looked confused as to why I was laughing. She insisted again that this was 100% serious and that she expected me to do it.” We can assure our readers, that OP wasn’t laughing anymore.
A Very Weird Sense Of Morals, It Seems
OP continued, “I told that I didn’t feel comfortable doing that. I didn’t want to spend a night alone in a hotel with someone who wasn’t my girlfriend or wife. I asked her why we would have to get a hotel. She explained that a long time ago the mother of the bride would actually sleep with the boy and that it was viewed as a way to kick off the marriage. I asked if she expected me to do that.
She laughed and said of course not, but that she couldn’t be upset with me if it did happen. She then said that her mother doesn’t plan to actually do anything sexual. Still kinda freaked out by the whole concept, I asked if I could just buy the mom dinner. My girlfriend got more upset and asked me why I was refusing to follow a fun tradition. I simply said that I just don’t feel comfortable with it. She said that I was acting like a stubborn kid and that I should just have fun. I insisted that I wouldn’t do the hotel part.”
There Is No Way This Family Tradition Is Acceptable In The 21st Century!
We are sure our readers are thinking the same as us- “What the f***?” This does look a lot like something that would come out of fanfiction written by a teenage male. But, to actually face such a bizarre family tradition, with the wife expecting her fiance to go through with it- it goes through a whole other level of weird.
OP then went on to state, “She left and went on to tell her family. They have all reached out to me and asked me what is wrong with me and why I’m being such a jerk about it. The mom called me and she actually was nice about it. She said that she thinks I’m a great guy and that while she would love to have a night together, she understands that I have a right to say no.
She even said that she spoke to my girlfriend about it, and told her that I have that right. Nonetheless, my girlfriend is still upset with me. I will mention as well that my girlfriend and her family are from a different culture so that is probably why I’m not accustomed to this. Am I the a**hole for being stubborn about continuing this tradition?”
Reddit Kept With The Times
Needless to say, r/AITA wasn’t on board with the family tradition. One user commented, “That sounds incredibly uncomfortable, and I would definitely be upset if my partner’s family expected me to do that.” Another user went on to state, “Seriously if the genders were reversed, how would she feel if the tradition in OP’s family was for the future wife to sleep with his dad? Nope, this is coercion and potentially sexual assault, and it’s a red flag that she doesn’t understand OP’s discomfort, and even saying he can’t be upset about it.”
u/books2246 tried to find a middle ground amidst the rest of the comments- “How about a further compromise? Get two rooms that adjoin by a door. It’s how I travel with my parents. They have their bed and I have mine. The doors could open but your side could be locked. It’s technically still one room, but they are separated.” So, what do our readers think about this bizarre family tradition? Write to us in the comments!