Calling someone “fat” can be a hurtful insult. But why is that?
This question came up when a mother named Allison shared her story about a recent swimming trip with her children. When her daughter called her fat, 30-year-old Allison had a clever response, and her message is now spreading quickly online.
Allison Kimmey began dieting when she was just 14 years old. She managed to stay at a size two to four through graduate school, but it was tough, and she wasn’t happy. Three years ago, at age 27, Allison reached a size eight and realized she would be much happier if she stopped fighting against her weight gain.
To motivate herself, Allison started an Instagram account, @allisonkimmey, where she shares pictures and inspirational messages. Her body positivity spreads joy and encourages her followers, but her important message doesn’t always reach everyone.
Recently, Allison took her son and daughter to the pool. When it was time to leave, her daughter got upset and called her fat. Allison shared the conversation on Instagram:
**Me:** “What did you say about me?”
**Her:** “I said you were fat, mama. I’m sorry.”
**Me:** “Let’s talk about it. The truth is, I am not fat. No one IS fat. It’s not something you can BE. But I do HAVE fat. We ALL have fat. It protects our muscles and bones and gives us energy. Do you have fat?”
**Her:** “Yes! I have some here on my tummy.”
**Me:** “That’s right! So do I, and so does your brother!”
**Her brother:** “I don’t have any fat. I’m the skinniest. I just have muscles.”
**Me:** “Actually, everyone, every single person in the world has fat. But each of us has different amounts.”
**Her brother:** “Oh right! I have some to protect my big muscles! But you have more than me.”
**Me:** “Yes, that’s true. Some people have a lot, and others don’t have much. But that doesn’t mean one person is better than the other. Do you both understand?”
**Both:** “Yes, mama.”
**Me:** “So can you repeat what I said?”
**Them:** “Yes! I shouldn’t say someone is fat because you can’t just be fat, but everyone HAS fat, and it’s okay to have different fat.”
**Me:** “Exactly right!”
Not only did Allison want to teach her children how to talk to others, but she also felt it was important to spread the message that everyone is equal, no matter their body shape. Now, her post on Instagram has gone viral.
“If I shame my children for saying it, then I’m proving that it’s an insulting word and continuing the stigma that being fat is unworthy, gross, comical, and undesirable,” writes Allison.