A woman, unfamiliar with weddings in a foreign country where she resides, received an invitation from a kind elderly colleague, requesting her presence at her daughter’s momentous occasion. Following the “dress to impress” code, she chose a traditional outfit from her country for the occasion. Much to her astonishment, both the bride and her colleague were infuriated by her choice.
A confident female entrepreneur standing with arms crossed at office | Source: Getty Images
On October 25, 2023, an anonymous female poster shared her story in the widely popular “AITA” subreddit. The original poster, a 27-year-old black African woman, was living and working in Germany for a fixed period on secondment. During her time there, she formed a close friendship with a 60-year-old colleague.
An elderly woman looking in the mirror | Source: Shutterstock
What Happened on the Wedding Day?
The woman grasped the assignment, and on the day of the wedding, she confidently wore her traditional attire, a beautiful green garment that distinctly stood out in the German setting. Initially, she assumed there wouldn’t be any issues with her choice. However, throughout the event, she fielded numerous questions and compliments about her outfit, all of which she modestly downplayed, not wanting to overshadow the bride’s day.
When Monday arrived, the woman sensed an unusual atmosphere in the office, with hushed whispers and colleagues displaying more reserved behavior than usual.
Family members rejoicing at a wedding reception | Source: Getty Images
A woman dressed for a special occasion | Source: Getty Images
Staying on the periphery of the room throughout the event, the woman distanced herself from the music that didn’t align with her taste. She observed the nuances of European weddings, attempting to understand the cultural differences. After five hours, at 8 o’clock, she made her exit, leaving before the wedding concluded.
How Did Everyone React When the Woman Returned to the Office on Monday?
A bride with her mother | Source: Getty Images
According to her, the woman’s outfit at the wedding was deemed too extravagant and inappropriate, drawing undue attention away from the bride. Allegedly, the mother had been vocal about it, spreading the narrative that the woman’s attire was not just ostentatious but also disrespectful, causing a stir among the attendees.
Feeling a need to address the issue, the woman approached the mother of the bride (MOB) and requested a conversation. However, MOB refused, claiming she had nothing to say to her. Perplexed, the woman questioned why MOB had shared her grievances with others but wouldn’t communicate them directly to her. In response, MOB labeled the woman as insolent.
A distraught woman | Source: Shutterstock
In her defense, the woman clarified to anyone who reprimanded her that this was her first experience with a wedding in a predominantly white cultural context. She emphasized that she had specifically sought guidance on what to wear and had followed the given instructions.
A newlywed couple celebrating their union with friends | Source: Getty Images
Elegant candle holders and a white bouquet in a vase | Source: Pexels
The woman shared a few additional details to her story, noting that she was about to board a flight after someone told her to go back to her country, a remark she took with humor. She acknowledged the feedback received and admitted that while she might not be in the wrong, she understood she could have inquired further or done more research, which was a fair point.
A woman relaxing on an airplane | Source: Getty Images
In reply to a commenter who placed the blame on the mother, criticizing her for gossiping, providing misguided advice, and inviting the woman to her daughter’s wedding, which, according to the commenter, should have been the couple’s responsibility, the woman explained:
“Where I’m from, [that’s] really not out of the ordinary. I assumed she had either set [number] of guests or permission from her daughter 🤷🏿.”