All kinds of surprises happen at parties, however, our reader really went overboard with it. She brought her toddler to a party without letting anyone know. On the one hand, she badly wanted to join in on the fun. On the other, her friends were hoping for a peaceful evening without having to listen to a crying baby.
Our reader reached out to us.
Apologize to your friends.
It’s not always possible to change plans at the last minute, especially when you have a baby. It’s sad that your friends don’t like kids, and they certainly shouldn’t have treated you like that. Still, you could have at least mentioned that you’d come with a toddler.
It’s better to apologize for bringing a small uninvited guest. It’s great that you love your daughter, but sadly, not everyone is ready to show her the same level of affection as you do.
Plan in advance.
You might still feel the familiar urge to dive right into the fun the moment you’re invited, out of habit. However, your circumstances have changed. You now have a toddler, which means you need to plan ahead. The next time you’re invited to a similar event, ask the hosts if it’s a child-free party.
If not, consider hiring a nanny for the duration of the event. If the hosts are fine with babies, make sure you pack all the essentials such as diapers, wet wipes, and so on, to avoid causing any inconvenience to others.
Choose the right parties.
Most parties aren’t suitable for kids, as there might be an atmosphere and behavior that a small child shouldn’t witness. Smaller, more intimate gatherings might be more appropriate, while larger parties are a big no-no. Events with quiet conversations, board games, or outdoor activities may be better than loud music, dancing, etc.
Talk to your friends.
Tell your friends that their words and actions hurt you. Give them some examples of what really got to you. It will help them see where they were rude and what should be changed. Be specific and don’t mince words.
Also, let them know what you need from them — whether it’s just a bit of empathy or some changes in how they treat you when you’re around.