Maybe it’s a good thing that it’s ultimately impossible to achieve the perfect level of safety and security. We’re not the Sith and we don’t deal in absolutes, for one. But also because no-good mischief-makers are always on the prowl, looking for easy ways to grab our stuff and run. And we can’t let them get ahead of us, now, can we?
Women on Reddit have recently been sharing some secrets, tips, tricks, hacks, and other sorts of informal advice on how to make your home safer if you’re a woman living alone.
I used to keep a baseball bat with a sock on the end near my bed when I lived alone.
It’s to give you a second chance to swing if someone grabs the bat on your first swing … they’ll be staring a rando sock in their hand when you nail him in the balls or face.
Thankfully, I never had to use it!
After this guy hid behind a door and kept trying find me in my building over 3 weeks (never caught), I have 2 door jams. One for my main door and one for my bedroom door as a failsafe if he gets past the front door to buy more time for emergency services to respond or to re-orient myself with weapons I keep in my bedroom. The doorjam was effective even when he shattered the door in half trying to gain entry one night. My dog actually saved my life, he knew he was hiding behind the door and refused to let me pass and huffed a warning. I heard him breathing through the door grate and was able to rush through before he could slam the door on my dog. Since then he now huffs to alert me when men seem to be following me and also a makes a loud single bark if he hears someone at the front door. It’s very helpful.
My dog for tangible threats, and my cats for spiritual threats.
Women on Reddit have been sharing some of the ways they keep their homes safe. Creative and legit ways alike.
The AskReddit features suggestions and discussion across 2,700 comments, garnering 2,800 upvotes on the post itself, with the top answer getting over 6,600 upvotes, so there was much more happening here.
When I lived alone in an apartment, I bought Men’s shoes from Goodwill & left them outside by the doormat so ppl didn’t think I lived alone. That & my 22 made me feel safe.
The shoes are a brilliant idea
I have a lot of strategically placed 3 wick jar candles. I don’t actually burn them, they’re there for pleasant scent and the fact that they can crack a skull. I had an incident many years ago, and as soon as you start lobbing those things your targets gonna run.
I’ve heard of women fighting off intruders with those before! Apparently very effective.
A dog. He’s little and fluffy but any dog deters break ins because they make noise and get in the way. It also goes a long way to quiet that paranoid “what if someone is hiding in the basement” voice because I know he would smell an unusual person in the house.
That, and honestly I stopped watching crime shows. For as much as I loved detective stories, it took me way too long to put it together that maybe my anxiety of being raped and murdered could be related to watching TV shows all day where someone gets raped and murdered, then going for a drive and listening to a podcast about someone who got raped and murdered, then unwinding before bed with a murder mystery. I stick to sitcoms now and I’m in a much happier headspace.
It’s been proven that the sense of danger people experience is related to the way the news work. We would feel differently if news were 90% about good things happening.
And while Redditors did provide very good ways of solving burglaries and B&E’s, it must be said that there are other ways to prevent it too.
That is key, when you think about it—to prevent it, instead of having to deal with the consequences of having a house that looks like it’s made out of gingerbread to the burglars.
I got to know my neighbors, researched my neighborhood, and DO NOT hide a key. I have trusted people with my key that help me out if I lock myself out or need someone to watch the kitties when I need the favor.
My neighbors are great. We help each other out with the yard work, keep pests away, and keep an eye on the kids (my one neighbor is like the community grandpa). Yesterday, we had an incident where a man who seemed confused where he was and got into a neighbor’s car. Neighbor made sure he wasn’t going anywhere and called 911 once he realized this guy wasn’t a threat.
Get to know your neighbors, ladies. It will be awkward and stressful, but it’s better to know who they are than to isolate and be caught off guard.
Community is the best defence against many hardships. A good support network goes a long way. And you can share tools and ladders!
I use a Kevin McCallister-style security system of leaving c**p in front of my doors so anyone breaking in will knock s**t over and I’ll hear it. .
I use that strategy all over my house
I live alone but it’s in a small studio apartment in a secured building. Even though the building is secured, I lock my front door no matter how long I’m gone for. That means taking out the trash, going down the hall to pick up my laundry, etc. Door is always locked.
Something I also do that I noticed my guy friends don’t do is I check the peephole before opening the door at all times.
I got this from a Super at one of my old apartments: Put a cover over the inside of the peephole -just a swinging disc that will keep room light out of the hole. Then, when you push it over to see out, the outside won’t go from light-to-dark, and whoever is there can’t tell if you’re looking at him.
Anywho, first thing’s first, check your home for security weaknesses and fix them.
While investing heaps of money into expensive security equipment has its benefits, installing simpler ones can work just as well. Think padlocks, window locks, grates, bars and all that jazz. These significantly increase the time a thief would have to spend breaking in. And they don’t usually have much to spare.
One night I had a nightmare so vivid of someone entering my apartment via my 2nd floor balcony that I found myself standing outside my bedroom door, disoriented and ready to fight. I had never felt unsafe in my apartment, but that dream really shook me and made me think I needed to be better prepared.
I couldn’t afford a security system, but, I had a bunch of tiny bells left over from a craft project. I tied them at intervals along a long piece of string and hung it on the balcony door in a way that, if the door opened it would make quite a bit of noise. Old school security alarm.
Like hanging up witch bells for spiritual protection!
My spouse is home alone once or twice per month when I’m away for work. She bought her own gun after we had a home invasion in 2016. Since then we’ve also had a home security system put in and adopted a pair of German shepherds, one of which is actually a retired K9 officer. The other is just a 90-lb butterfly who loves everyone, but the robbers and rapists don’t need to know that.
awww what a cutie in the picture :]
My 130 lb doggie. Huge sweetheart unless he thinks you’re threatening me.
Sit Cujo, sit. Good dog!
Having a burglar alarm, a security camera (or several) and installing bright lights can also go a long way as they would be your eyes, ears, and… that thing those deep ocean fish have that light their way because it’s too dark down there.
Heck, even making sure your fence isn’t too high and the trees are steering clear of your windows can take away a burglar’s chance at staying stealthy.
Wasp spray on your nightstand. It sprays 50 feet.
The idea here is to buy valuable seconds to get away, escape. Not to seriously injure the other person. When you fight back? It throws them off guard and that’s when you run, get out and run to the nearest safest place.
I no longer live alone, but when my husband is out of town, I feel safe knowing that I know all of my neighbors well enough to run to their house at any hour and they’d let me in. I also have two fierce guard dogs that bark anytime anyone gets near our house/me.
I love the photo chosen to represent “two fierce guard dogs”…
I no longer live alone, but when I did I was VERY intentional about who knew where I lived and who I brought over. Current and ex partners are far more likely to be dangerous than random strangers.
Other than that, keeping doors and windows locked and alarmed doors when needed and maintained a mantra that I’ve done all I could and stressing beyond that was no more helpful than being at peace. Living in fear is a prison.
Exactly! The biggest risk is people you know. I’m not sure of stats for other countries, but in the UK, 2 women a WEEK are killed at the hands of their partners. I think I heard that in the USA, the biggest killer of pregnant women isn’t medical, but instead homicide
Besides that, improving upon your architectural integrity can also help. Doors should be strong, preferably solid hardwood or, even better, metal. And at least 1¾ inches thick. Peeps holes are a must too.
Windows have a number of solutions too, ranging from simple nails to metal accordion gates depending on where your windows are vertically.
A few security measures, but frankly, it’s so safe in this little town where I live (Denmark), that I can leave my bicycle fully loaded with groceries while I pop in at another store or at the library, and everything will still be there when I get back out.
Hell, I’ve even forgot to lock my front door for a few days every now and then, and absolutely nothing happened.
The only two times that I’ve had something serious happen, it was someone close to me that was the cause.
So I’m not particularly worried about my safety in my place in general, but I’ve gotten a lot more picky about who I let in.
That’s what it was like when I lived in Japan. Leave your groceries on the bike while you pop into the library to return a book.
I don’t live alone anymore, but when I did, my dog made me feel safe! Edit to add that even living with someone, my dog is a great alarm & safety system
Even cats are a good alarm, they can hear someone coming up the driveway and will run and hide. Gives me the heads up when someone’s there. Also if there’s a noise outside and they don’t go on high alert, I know there’s nothing to worry about. They’re never wrong.
Lived alone with three kids for ≈15 yrs.
* Cameras 360° around the exterior of the house with motion lights and alerts
* Deadbolts on all exterior AND interior doors (including interior garage door)
* Padlocks on the gate to my backyard
* Window film & locks on all 1st floor windows
* Compact, modern sporting, and scatter-style defensive tools
* CCW permit
* Very barky dog(s) 🙂
* Pepper spray in every purse/bag, on my key chain, & work lanyard
* Disabled the auto-unlock feature on my vehicles
* Kept my garage clear so I could park IN my garage rather than on the driveway/street
* Good front and rear dash cam with sentry/parking mode feature engaged
* App on my phone (to check in with a trusted family member each day (2-way))
* Got to know my next-door & across the way neighbors and made a habit of letting them know when I would be traveling, expecting visitors, etc. (we are blessed to have had the same neighbors on 3 sides for
10+ years)
This all evolved over time, as I learned from my own and others’ experiences.
When I met my (now) husband he was at first taken aback, but now is as security-focused as me – and we’ve got his mom set up with similar systems and tools.
As for locks, deadbolt locks are considered the best. Without getting too technical, get one that unlocks with a key from the outside and a spinny handle on the inside. They are deemed to be more burglar proof than a spring bolt lock and you can also get pick-resistant variants. So, harder to brute force it open as well as harder to use that thieves’ tools proficiency or a sleight of hand roll.
When I lived alone, I would put those sliding window security locks in every window so they couldn’t be wedged open and I would even wedge chairs under doors. A dog also helps. And I’d have a nice bedroom door lock lol. Idk. I guess I was trying to make a bunch of hard obstacles before they could get to my room.
Also, replace the short striker plate screws with 3″ long ones that extend deep into the door frame.
I lived in an apartment complex. Which i believe is much safer than a house at times.
I had a few things infront of my door that would make noise, and i would also always double checked that i had fully locked my door. Being in a studio apartment, it was easier to keep myself safe otw to the apartment.
Like when I would get in the elevator with maybe a delivery man or someone that I had never seen in the building or even someone that gave me bad feelings, I would go up a few floors or down a few floors. Then i would use the stair case to make my way to my apartment. I know its a lot but it also was my first time living alone, in Toronto, as an undergrad University student. So i had a bit of reason to be paranoid.
Smart. Amazing how many women and men don’t look around as they get in and out of their cars. They also drive around with items/purses on the front seat with the windows down.
My dog, large heavy spikey cacti around the windows, and this sounds silly, but I have these enormous heavy book ends with handle looking things at the top. A baseball bat. Alexa can call emergency services.
I read somewhere that someone attempting to break in will not spend more than five minutes getting in. Sadly, the point is to make your house less appealing and more trouble to break into than someone else’s.
We intentionally don’t put much money or effort into our front yard so that the surrounding homes look more affluent and tempting to burglars.
But that’s just one side of it all. To eliminate the human factor, establish some home security habits. These can include doing a security walk around the house before going to bed or leaving the house and checking all the doors, windows and turning the security alarm on.
It goes without saying, don’t tell folks (personally or online) about when you’re not at home, join a lite version of the neighborhood watch, and don’t use the mat to hide your keys.
I’ve lived alone in a downtown city and out of the city. What made me feel safe in the city was living in an apartment with a door that was inside a building rather than outside. Essentially, you had to have a key or pass code in order to get in, then keys to get in my apartment. However, I lived on the first floor, so I bought a door blocker and would put it behind my door as soon as I got home. I also have a baseball bat near my bed. I would sadly also have my blinds closed. Now, in my current place, I made sure I lived on the top floor and was a two door building. I still have a baseball bat, but I feel safer than when I lived downtown.
My first apartment in college, mom and I had looked at a second floor option and signed the lease but on move-in day they put me in a ground floor apartment with a patio door, I was not very happy because of the increased safety risk, but it was too late to find something else and they discounted the rent. I happily left them with no notice about 1.5 years in because they had never had me sign new paperwork for a second year, so there was nothing binding me to stay there.
A set of nun-chucks, grannie’s cane, my machete, and 3 vicious felines. They wake me up by growling. They do a wonderful job, and I spoil them rotten. Also, a loaded 45. 😁.
I usually remember to lock the doors but that’s about it. .
Pretty much what I do, plus my neighbours have 5 dogs who go mental if I so much as hang washing out in my garden, or anyone approaches either of our front doors!
Other things to consider: if your keys have a tag, don’t put the address on it; don’t leave your keys in your car; don’t hide your keys in a secret place at home; if you see someone being sus around your house (or that of your neighbors), call the police; let your neighbors know if you’ll be gone for longer than usual and have them pick up your deliverables, among others.
Dead bolt on bedroom door and bathroom door. Bear spray and baseball bat.
Doorbell camera (blink) with Echo show that can snap to a door view, a hockey stick at the top of the stairs, and a hammer by my bed.
I’m a woman who’s lived by myself for most of my life. I’m cautious and aware, and I keep everything locked up, but I’ve never felt the need to keep a weapon handy. That may be because I’m fat and would be extremely hard to kidnap. If I go limp no one short of Hercules is going to be able to pick me up. 😉
I put dowels in the window sills , lock all the doors, bolt front door x2, pepper spray in the bedside table , sleep with my phone next to me,.
I’m guessing the dowels go in the window tracks, not on the sill
And—and—always a good added layer of security is insurance. Sure, it won’t necessarily stop you from getting burgled, but it will definitely make sure you aren’t left with nothing in the end. Specifically, homeowners insurance. The best part is that the insurance policy might cost you less depending on how many security measures you already have in your home, like alarms and cameras.
I live in a apartment full of cameras in the building and I got a 22. My dad gave me. I feel pretty safe at my own home. Although to be fair I did upgraded my lock , did that at every apartment I ever lived actually.
I hope you train with the 22. Having a gun without being trained and staying trained is dangerous and foolish. Don’t think just showing it will work. You need to be ready to use it.
A bat.
Dog also for emotional support when cat starts staring at a blank wall in the middle of the night? 😀