He tiptoed up the stairs to avoid awakening his wife Kathleen but tripped and fell on his rear. Each back pocket held a whiskey bottle, making the impact much more painful. He smothered a shout, pulled down his pants, and peered in the hallway mirror to find that his buttocks were sliced and bleeding.
He quietly found a box of Band-Aids and applied one to each area where he observed blood. The next morning, he awoke to see Kathleen looking down at him, saying, “You were drunk last night, weren’t you?!”
Bob blustered, “Now why would you think something like that?” Kathleen responded: “Well, it could be the broken glass, it could be the trail of blood through the house or it could be your bloodshot eyes.” “But mostly,” she added, “It’s all those Band-Aids on the hall mirror.”