A man has sparked a debate online after going on a vacation without his girlfriend because she couldn’t afford to pay her share.
There’s nothing quite like a vacation. Sunshine, lie-ins, and cocktails galore, getting away is always a treat.
But what would you do if you planned a trip with your partner, but they couldn’t pay for their share?
Well, one man, Reddit-user AudDMurphy, has asked whether he’s an a**hole for going on a vacation without his girlfriend because she couldn’t pay her way.
In his post, the Reddit-user reveals he’s 39, soon to be 40, and his girlfriend is 33 years old.
According to him, the relationship was going well and the couple and begun talking about his milestone birthday.
He added that he has never ‘taken a vacation’ in his life. He’d extended work trips and traveled to see friends and family, but only for long weekends.
So, to celebrate his 40th birthday, he wanted to book a week-long vacation with his girlfriend.
He continues his post to say that, since his 20s, he’s worked hard to get his ‘finances in shape’ and has been able to put money aside to use for his big birthday trip.
But would he be in the wrong to go without his partner?
“My girlfriend is great,” he says. “She works hard and supports herself.
“I told her I’d be willing to cover our lodging and, depending on where we go, help her pay for airfare. Because we haven’t been dating long, I don’t feel comfortable paying her whole way and feel she should contribute financially to come along.”
Sounds fair enough, right?
Well, his girlfriend began expressing doubts that she could afford the parts of the vacation he expected her to pay for herself.
“She […] told me she didn’t feel she could afford to cover meals + half airfare even if I went somewhere relatively cheap.”
The Reddit-user, however, was hoping for a trip to the Caribbean, which would have set her back just under $500.
“But she doesn’t make as much money [as me] and, most importantly, is currently saddled with around $20k in credit card debt arising from a period of unexpected unemployment she had in the past that forced her to burn through savings and live on credit cards,” he shares.
His partner told him that she wouldn’t be able to pay her way for this reason.
After he suggested going alone for a week, she became upset and they ended up fighting.
He had taken his concerns to his friends and family before posting them to Reddit.
“My friends and family are split,” he says. “On the one hand, some point out how many things I wanted to do but didn’t get to do because my ex refused to ‘let’ me and so I should go forth with or without her.
“On the other, some are saying it is cruel of me to be planning a vacation in front of a person who is trying to pay off large amounts of debt anyway.”
The question of whether or not user AudDMurphy is an a**hole has well and truly divided the internet.
One person, siding with him, says: “Her attitude is ‘If I can’t be part of the fun, he doesn’t get to have fun without me.’ Who does that? This is not someone who cares about you. RUN.”
Another adds: “Trying to change his 40th bday bucket list plans is so selfish.”
“She is showing that she would rather him not achieve one of his dreams than have a week’s vacation without her,” a third agrees.
While others voiced their support for the girlfriend.
One writes: ‘It might not be a black-and-white situation and it might be worth it to see if they can talk this out and get on the same page.”
“You are quite a few years older than your gf. You should not expect her to be in the same place,” someone else replies.
Another adds: “No one wants to be around for only the everyday mundane stuff and then swept aside/dropped when the fun stuff comes around.”
AudDMurphy was ultimately voted ‘Not An A**hole.’