Mother-of-five Cassandra Lane had a moment of “momferiority” when she took her son Zeke to have his senior photos taken. She’d assured Zeke not to worry about the photos because she was sure they would be headshots, but the reality left her parenting confidence shaken.
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In a Facebook post recounting the incident, she wrote: “Earlier this week we went to get Zeke’s senior yearbook pictures. On the way, I noticed his hands. Working hands. Hands that look familiarly like my dad’s work-stained hands and like Brandon’s in the early years of our marriage. I told him not to worry about it because they were doing headshots. I was wrong.”
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“As we sat in line, I notice kids in letterman jackets with their class rings. And I notice Zeke’s stained hands. I began to tear up. Have I given him everything a parent should give to their child as he has grown up? He works out in the heat, 30-40 hours a week during the summer,” she wrote. “He didn’t want a class ring or a letterman jacket. He didn’t get a new car. The mommy comparison game tells me I didn’t show him how much I love him with things. I left there feeling bad about myself and how we have raised our son.”
This left her worried, and the next few days were filled with tears and self-reflection. She finally apologized to Zeke, but his response was heartwarmingly unexpected.
He laughed before asking her, “Why are you sorry? Because you’ve taught me to work hard for things I want? Because I know the value of a dollar? Because I’m not going to think that I deserve to have everything I want?”
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Cassandra’s sister was also a darling, reminding her that the best parts of life aren’t about things, but relationships. And that God’s grace made up for any of her parenting shortcomings.
So, Cassandra wrote: “If you’re struggling with the parenting comparison game, just know that God gave you the babies you have because he wanted you, YOU, to be their mama. Not someone else.”
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She expressed her pride in Zeke, who bought his brother a canoe “using his money that he earned in a vehicle that he fixed with his own hands and gas he paid for by himself.”
“I’m not ready for Zeke to grow up, but I think he’s well on his way,” her post concluded.