Twelve years after my husband, George, left me with a newborn, I received a call that he desperately needed to see our daughter. But when my girl returned from that meeting in tears, I knew my ex was up to no good.
Some people in my life have said that what I did wasn’t nice, and that I may have alienated my daughter’s chance to have a relationship with her father. But I disagree.
Let’s go back to the beginning. Twelve years ago, my then-husband George disappeared as soon as we returned from the hospital with our newborn daughter, Jennie.
He just packed his bags the next night, and I never saw him again. I couldn’t reach him, and his friends supposedly had no idea where he was. I didn’t think that was true, but I wasn’t going to push.
With a newborn and no job, I had enough to worry about.
Over the years, he never showed any interest in reconnecting with his daughter and never called to ask how we were doing.
So, I divorced him through our lawyers and didn’t even ask for child support.
You can imagine how shocking it was when I was just going about my business and a phone call from his old number popped up.
I picked up automatically, almost expecting it to be a mistake, but it was his voice.
“Emily? It’s me! I need to see my daughter. I have terrible news!” he panted into the phone.
“Wh-what?” I stuttered but recovered quickly. “George! It’s been 12 years! You think you can just see Jennie?”
“Emily! I have no time to debate this. I need to see my girl. I’m sick. It’s terminal,” he explained, and his voice even got choked up.
I didn’t expect this at all. My first instinct was… suspicion. “Are you lying to me?” I asked, not quite angry, but very serious.
“NO! How can you think that of me, Em?” George asked, offended.
“You left me,” I retorted, and my voice turned to ice. “Left me without a single word or a way to reach you. But you also left her! I don’t know what to think of you! Because you definitely weren’t the man I thought I’d married!”
“Please!” he wailed, and I heard sniffles. “Please, I’m not asking for much. I just want to meet her, make my amends, and go in peace.”
I closed my eyes and stopped myself from yelling some more. I had so many years of resentment built up, but would it do any good to release all that anger then?
Would it be better for my daughter if I just allowed her to see the father she has always wanted to meet?
I opened my eyes, looked up at the ceiling as if asking for divine help, and sighed. “Fine, I’ll let you meet her,” I said.
***
“I’ll be right outside if you need anything, okay?” I touched Jennie’s cheek. We were in my car right outside a coffee shop near our home.
We had agreed she would meet George there. I wanted to go inside, but I also thought it would be too hard to see him and not yell… or cry… or hit him for abandoning us.
So, I would let Jennie go in alone and wait for her here.
When I told some of my friends, they didn’t think I did the right thing, especially because I lied to Jennie.
But I stand by my actions, and I know I’ll have to tell Jennie the whole truth someday. But for now, all I wanted was to protect her. Was that so wrong?