This is funny

Wife : Am I looking fat?

Husband : Yes

Wife : Shut up. Don’t you ever dare talk to me!!

Wife : Am I looking fat?

Husband : No

Wife : Liar

Wife : Am I looking fat?

Husband : Maybe

Wife : can u ever b decisive

Wife : Am I looking fat?

Husband : I don’t know

Wife : Are you blind?

Wife : Am I looking fat?

Husband : Depends

Wife : Oh you comparing me with some one else..

Wife : Am I looking fat?

Husband : silence

Wife : Are you deaf?

There are some questions for which there is no correct answer.
For everything else there is Google …

Husband to Wife:

Tomorrow is your birthday. What gift would you like ?

Wife: A Giraffe !

Husband: Darling, please be reasonable. Where do I get a giraffe from? Ask for something that is possible for me.

Wife: Ok, then give up drinking. That you can do and I’ll accept it as a good gift.

So next day……

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