A perplexing situation unfolded when Jill, a stepmother, sought guidance on navigating her 13-year-old stepdaughter‘s self-identification as a fox. The bewildering scenario, discussed on the mental health podcast The Dr. John Delony Show, sheds light on the complexities of modern family dynamics.
Discovering the Therian Identity
Upon discovering her stepdaughter’s identification as a ‘therian,’ someone who identifies as a non-human animal, Jill found herself at a loss. She told him with disbelief how the teen adopted this identity. Donning a fox mask and tail while maintaining a YouTube channel where she displayed fox-like behaviors. “She wears a mask and a tail. She has a YouTube channel of her jumping around like a fox in really short shorts,” she said. The situation was further complicated by the apparent endorsement of this behavior by the girl’s biological mother.
Seeking Guidance
Feeling overwhelmed, Jill turned to Dr. John for advice, expressing shock at the terminology and the challenges of addressing her stepdaughter’s unconventional identity. Additionally, she voiced concerns about her own daughter’s emulation of this behavior and sought clarity on setting boundaries regarding internet and social media usage. “And can I tell my stepdaughter that her cell phone’s not allowed here?” she added. “And overall, big picture, what kind of relationship should I have with my stepdaughter? Since I’m not her bio parent, but so much of her influence is over my house and my daughter, who’s absolutely in love with her, adores her, and I’m sure a big reason my daughter’s doing this is to gain good favors with the stepdaughter.”
Navigating Boundaries and Relationships
Dr. John emphasized the importance of establishing boundaries while acknowledging the validity of imaginative play. “If your kid wants to dress up like a giraffe and run in the backyard, I don’t have an inherent problem with that, understanding that she’s not going to dress like a giraffe when we go out to dinner. She’s not going to dress like a giraffe when friends come over,” he explained He advised Jill to approach the situation with empathy and understanding, recognizing the delicate balance between nurturing creativity and maintaining societal norms. Addressing concerns about the stepdaughter’s online presence, he underscored the need for vigilant supervision to ensure her safety and well-being.
Parental Responsibility and Support
Acknowledging the complexities of blended families, Dr. John encouraged Jill to assert her role as a parent and provide unwavering support to her stepdaughter and biological daughter. He stressed the importance of consistency and resilience in guiding teenagers through this challenging phase of adolescence. “What she needs from y’all – I love the word Dr. Becky Kennedy uses – she needs sturdiness. She needs sturdy parents who are going to stand there in a storm while the winds rage because those winds are 13 years old,” Dr. John emphasized. “You’re playing a 10-year game with her. You want her to turn around at 26 and be like, “Those two people never stopped fighting for me, and they really cared for me.”‘
Dr. John Offered Reassurance
As Jill grappled with the intricacies of her stepdaughter’s identity and behavior, Dr. John offered reassurance and practical advice for fostering a supportive environment. While acknowledging the surreal nature of the situation, he emphasized the importance of maintaining a connection to reality, inherently instilling a sense of responsibility in both parents and children alike. Amidst the complexities of modern family life, the need for compassion, understanding, and clear communication remains paramount.