We live in a world where success means getting ahead without standing out too much. If you don’t fit in or are a bit different, you’re seen as “odd” or “abnormal.”
This is a sad way of thinking, focusing too much on looks and how we compare to others.
Just ask Jono Lancaster, a person who is just like the rest of us but has often been painfully reminded of how cruel the world can be.
Facebook / Jono Lancaster
Jono Lancaster was born in England in October 1985, but he didn’t look like the other babies in the hospital.
The little boy had Treacher Collins syndrome, a rare condition that caused his facial bones to develop unevenly.
Doctors told Jono’s parents about the diagnosis and said he might never walk or talk. This was too much for his shocked parents, and they abandoned him.
“When I was born, my parents were in total shock. I was out of the hospital 36 hours after I was born. Social services found someone to look after me. The foster carer was a lady called Jean,” Jono shared at the 2015 Nord Conference.
When he was less than two days old, Jono’s parents put him up for adoption and disappeared. The hospital contacted Social Services, and a wonderful woman named Jean Lancaster took Jono in and raised him.
Jean wasn’t scared or shocked when she saw the little boy. She just picked him up and felt an instant bond. She turned to the nurse and said, “When can I take him home?”
From the start, his foster mom gave him the love and care every child needs, and Jono couldn’t have asked for a better, more devoted mother.
But even though Jono had great support from his mother, his early years were marked by the outside world’s reluctance to show understanding.
When Jono went to school, he started to notice that he looked different from his classmates.
“I felt like I was on my own and that I was the only one in the world like me. People are lucky enough to win the lottery or become professional footballers, doctors, or lawyers, but I wondered, ‘Why did I have to look like this?’” Jono said in an interview with Adelaide Now.
It’s important to know that Treacher Collins syndrome doesn’t affect a child’s intelligence. The only thing Jono’s classmates cared about was his appearance. They would run away and make faces, saying they didn’t want to catch his “disease.”
“I used to hide how unhappy I was from my mom. She had already done so much for me,” he told the BBC in an interview.
Jono refused to give up and let the haters win, though, and by his side, he had a wonderful woman.
Jono’s foster mother, Jean, tried to reunite him with his biological parents. But after they returned her letters for five straight years, she took the next step — and adopted Jono on May 18, 1990.
“So I get two birthdays! I used to tell other kids that my mom went to the hospital, looked at all the babies, and chose me, while their parents were stuck with them,” Jono said at the 2015 Nord Conference.
Jono will always remember his foster mom, which he made clear in an emotional Facebook post from 2015.
“This lady may be a little short, but she has the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever met. She’s been a foster carer for 30 years and has loved and cared for so many children. She cried every time a child moved to a new home because she felt like she had failed them. Even though she was a single mom in her 40s, she took me in without knowing what the future would be. She adopted me and, along with Claire and Stephen, gave me an amazing family. This lady is an angel who came into my life when I needed her the most.”
“This angel’s name is Jean, my mum, my hero.”
As a teenager, Jono became very rebellious. Sometimes, he acted out just to get attention and distract people from noticing his appearance. He drank a lot and tried to win people over with sweets.
“I was feeling so alone.”
But with Jean’s love and care, and his own strong will, Jono decided to use his experiences to help others.
Now 36 years old, Jono dedicates his life to helping people with Treacher Collins syndrome around the world. He also works as a team leader for adults with autism.
He meets with children to give them hope and support, and talks to their parents about their situation. Jono is now an inspirational teacher, often speaking about Treacher Collins syndrome.
“My parents still want nothing to do with me,” he says. “What’s changed is my attitude, and that’s what’s so powerful. […] I wouldn’t change any of it. My attitude was more of a problem than anything. With the right attitude, you can achieve anything.”
One of Jono’s mentees is two-year-old Zackary Walton from Australia.
Even though Zackary is very young, he has already been bullied. But with Jono as a friend, Zackary has someone who will support him for life.
“When he said he was coming to Australia, we knew we had to meet him and it’s made us so happy to see Zack meet someone like him,” the boy’s mother, Sarah Walton, told Adelaide Now.
When Jono and Zackary met for the first time in November 2014, this picture was posted on Facebook — and it’s just so lovely to see.
In 2015, Jono met Laura Richardson while working as a fitness instructor.
They fell in love, and Laura accepted Jono and his condition. She saw him for who he really was, and together they worked to spread positivity and smiles around them.
Before meeting Laura, Jono thought he would need to adopt if he wanted to have children and start a family.
“I’ve always dreamed of being a dad. I really want those father-and-son moments. My adoptive mom was amazing, but I never had a father figure in my life, and that’s something I really want. I want to do things like the school run, take my child to dance, gymnastics, or football – whatever they’re interested in,” Jono told BBC in 2011.
Jono knows that any child he fathers has a 50% chance of having Treacher Collins syndrome. Just thinking about having a child of his own brought up many emotions and questions for him. Even though Jono was born relatively healthy, many children with Treacher Collins face serious medical issues, and some are born unable to breathe.
So, Jono thought maybe adoption was the best option.
“It worked really well for me, and giving a child a second chance is brilliant. But Laura really wants to carry a child herself, and she’s worried about taking care of someone else’s child or that the child might want to find its biological parents,” Jono said. He also added:
“Plus, she really wants our child to be ‘our’ child. And I really want to take care of her when she’s pregnant, like running downstairs at 2am if she craves a pickle.”
Sadly, Laura and Jono never had children. After ten years together, they decided to separate and move on. Jono explained their decision on Instagram:
“Laura and I shared 10 amazing years together, but we decided to go our separate ways because we weren’t growing together as a couple. There is nothing but mutual respect between us, and it had nothing to do with appearance.”
Some of his followers showed sympathy and tried to stay positive, encouraging Jono that something good could come from a broken relationship.
“I don’t think breakups can ever sound good. It was heartbreaking,” Jono replied.
You can hear Jono tell his story in the video below. I promise it will touch your heart.
Although Jono’s story is heartbreaking, it’s also incredibly uplifting to see his strength and courage and how he uses it to help other children in the same situation.
I really hope we can help Jono’s story get more attention. Not just to inspire others, but also to give hope and confidence to others who need it. Because we all need some inspiration now and then.
No one should ever be judged, bullied, or discriminated against because of their appearance! Share this article if you agree!