Col. Edward Thomas Ryan, 85, kept a secret for his entire life, even from the people closest to him. It wasn’t until after he passed away that he shared this secret with his loved ones and everyone who would read his obituary.
In his obituary, Ryan wrote, “I must tell you one more thing. I was Gay all my life: through grade school, high school, college, and my entire life.”
Ryan always knew he was gay, but he was afraid of being rejected by his family, friends, and co-workers. He explained, “Seeing how people like me were treated, I just couldn’t do it.”
He ended his message by saying, “Now that my secret is known, I’ll forever rest in peace.
Even though he kept this part of his life hidden, Ryan found happiness in a 25-year relationship with a man he called “the love of my life.” Sadly, his partner, Paul Cavagnaro, passed away before him.
Joseph Ryan, the nephew of Col. Edward Thomas Ryan, told the New York Post that his uncle’s relationship with his partner was an “open secret” within the family.
“They would go on vacations together. After he retired, they would take a month off and travel anywhere they wanted in the world,” Joseph said. “So, we kind of knew, but he wasn’t the type to come right out and say anything. Our family doesn’t really pry into people’s lives.”
Col. Ryan, a decorated veteran, decided to donate his body to the Anatomical Gift Program at Albany Medical College. Afterward, his body will be cremated, and he will be buried next to his partner, Paul Cavagnaro.
Reading Col. Edward Thomas Ryan’s obituary brought tears to my eyes. This is why we have Pride Month—to honor stories like his.
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