Hey everyone, I never thought I’d be writing something like this, but life has a way of surprising you in the most unexpected ways. I’m Kate, a 35-year-old mom of two wonderful kids, and I’ve been married to my husband, Ben, for ten years.
Like any other couple, we’ve had our ups and downs, but what I discovered last week has left me shattered, and I need to share this with someone. So here goes.
It all started when Ben had to undergo minor surgery. It was nothing serious, just a quick in-and-out procedure, but he was still put under anesthesia. I was waiting in the recovery room, scrolling through my phone, trying to kill time while he woke up.
When he finally started to come around, he was all groggy and babbling nonsense. I thought it was hilarious, so I pulled out my phone to film him, thinking I’d have a funny video to show him later.
As I hit record, Ben mumbled something that made me freeze. “Shhh… Don’t tell Kate, but the key is under the car seat.” My heart skipped a beat, and I stopped recording immediately. What key? What was he talking about? My mind raced with possibilities, none of them good.
I quietly slipped out of the room, trying to stay calm. My hands were shaking as I made my way to our car in the parking lot. I searched under the seat, and sure enough, there was a small card. It was a key card for a hotel—one of the most expensive places in town. We could never afford to stay there, not with our budget.
My head was spinning. Why did Ben have this? I had to know more. I rushed back to the hospital, but instead of going back to Ben’s room, I found a quiet corner and pulled up our bank account on my phone. I never really looked at our savings account before because Ben always handled our finances. But as I opened it, my blood ran cold.
There were huge withdrawals and charges—thousands of dollars gone. Luxury stores, fancy restaurants, hotels, and even rent payments for another apartment. I felt sick. This was supposed to be our savings for the kids’ college and the house we’d been dreaming of buying for so long. How could this be happening?
I scrolled through the transactions, my eyes filling with tears. Notes on some of them made my stomach churn. “See you tonight” for $600, “For your dress” for $1200. It was clear what was happening. Ben had fallen for an escort, or some sugar baby, who was bleeding him dry while he was head over heels for her.
I felt like I couldn’t breathe. This was my husband, the man I trusted with everything. I had no idea what to do. I felt so betrayed, so angry, and so heartbroken all at once.
I went back to Ben’s room, my mind a whirlwind of emotions. He was still out of it, mumbling incoherently. I sat down beside him, staring at the man I thought I knew, wondering how he could do this to us. To our family.
As I sat there, staring at Ben, the weight of what I had discovered pressed down on me like a ton of bricks. My husband, the man I trusted with our family’s future, had thrown away our savings on someone else. The betrayal was almost too much to bear.
A few hours passed, and Ben started to come around. He blinked his eyes open, looking dazed and confused. I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself. I had to confront him, but I needed to choose my words carefully. I didn’t want to cause a scene in the hospital.
“Hey, Ben,” I said softly, trying to keep my voice steady.
“Kate? What’s going on? Why are you here?” he mumbled, still groggy.
“You just had surgery, remember?” I replied. “How are you feeling?”
He rubbed his eyes and tried to sit up, wincing a little. “I feel like I got hit by a truck. What happened?”
“You’ve been out for a while. You said some things while you were under anesthesia.” I paused, watching his reaction.
He looked puzzled. “What do you mean?”
“You mentioned a key under the car seat,” I said, my voice trembling. “I found it, Ben. It was a hotel key. A very expensive hotel.”
His face went pale. “Kate, I can explain.”
“I checked our bank account,” I continued, ignoring his attempt to interrupt. “I saw the charges. Thousands of dollars, Ben. Our savings. What have you done?”
“Then what is it, Ben?” I snapped, my anger boiling over. “Because it looks like you’ve been spending our money on someone else. Someone you’ve been renting an apartment for, buying dresses for. Do you have any idea what this means for our family? For our kids?”
He buried his face in his hands. “I’m sorry, Kate. I never meant for it to get this far.”
“Who is she?” I demanded. “Who is this woman you’ve been wasting our money on?”
He looked up at me, his eyes red. “Her name is Rebekah. She’s… she’s someone I met a few months ago. I thought I was in love with her.”
“In love?” I echoed, my voice rising. “You think this is love? Throwing away our future? Our kids’ future? For what, Ben? For some fling?”
“It’s not just a fling,” he insisted, standing up and starting to pace the room. “I have real feelings for her. She makes me feel alive, Kate. Something I haven’t felt in years.”
“Alive?” I scoffed. “And what about me, Ben? What about our children? Do we not matter to you anymore?”
“Of course you do,” he said, his voice breaking. “But things have been so hard between us lately. I didn’t know how to fix it.”
“So your solution was to cheat on me? To blow through our savings on some woman?” I could feel my anger reaching a breaking point. “This is our life, Ben. Our children’s future. And you just… you just threw it all away.”
We were both silent for a moment, the weight of my words hanging in the air. Finally, I spoke again, my voice quieter but no less firm. “If you want to see your kids, or at least for them not to know how their father wasted their future, I expect you to pay back my part by the end of the year. Every single penny.”
He looked at me, a mix of guilt and desperation in his eyes. “Kate, I don’t know if I can do that.”
“Well, you’d better find a way,” I said coldly. “Because if you don’t, I will make sure they know exactly what kind of man their father is.”
Ben didn’t have anything else to say. He just stood there, looking defeated. After a long, tense silence, he nodded. “I’ll do my best,” he whispered.
“You’d better,” I replied, turning to leave the room. “I’ll be at home with the kids. Don’t come back until you have a plan.”
I walked out of the hospital, my heart heavy with the weight of what had just happened. When I got home, I put on a brave face for the kids, trying to act like everything was normal. But inside, I was falling apart.
Over the next few days, Ben stayed away. He called a few times, trying to explain, trying to apologize, but I wasn’t ready to hear it. I needed time to process everything, to figure out what I was going to do.
One evening, after I put the kids to bed, I sat down at the kitchen table and let myself cry. I cried for the life I thought I had, for the future I thought we were building together. I cried for my children, who deserved so much better than this.
I still don’t know what the future holds. Part of me wants to forgive Ben, to try and work things out for the sake of our family. But another part of me doesn’t know if I can ever trust him again. How do you rebuild something that’s been shattered so completely?
So here I am, pouring my heart out to you all, hoping for some advice. How do you move forward after something like this? How do you find it in your heart to forgive someone who has betrayed you so deeply? And if you can’t forgive, how do you let go and move on?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for listening.
Astonishingly, Kate isn’t the only wife whose husband went off and spent thousands of dollars from their family savings. In another story, Carla’s husband, Andrew, did the same. When she found the truth behind his actions, her world turned topsy-turvy.