It can be difficult for fathers to show affection toward their daughters. Societal expectations and norms can really put a strain on their relationship. Our reader was blessed with a great relationship with her dad. Yet, her boyfriend finds it “creepy” and strange. He was weirded out by her dad’s gift on Valentine’s Day.
One of our readers sent us a message.
Explain everything to your boyfriend.
Tell your boyfriend that you have a very close relationship with your dad. It’s normal for fathers to show their affection like this. Sadly, dads stop showing affection to their daughters because they believe that it’s inappropriate.
You are lucky to have such a caring father. Explain to your boyfriend that the gifts don’t mean anything bad — it’s just a way your father expresses his love as a parent.
Watch out for red flags.
It seems like your boyfriend is feeling insecure about such a loving gesture from your dad to you. This could be just the beginning — he might later forbid you from having any male friends and, in general, become very controlling. Alternatively, the best-case scenario could be that his family upbringing is simply different and more reserved.
Cherish your dad’s gifts.
Don’t let your boyfriend’s words affect you. You’re not doing anything wrong or inappropriate. It’s clear that he still has some growing up to do.
It’s sad that he can’t see the difference between the love between romantic partners and parents’ unconditional love for their kid. Your boyfriend should accept it. Otherwise, it’s going to be an issue in your relationship.
Ask him not to comment on your gifts.
Let him know this is how a healthy relationship between a father and daughter looks like. Perhaps he doesn’t have the same relationship with his parents. It doesn’t give him the right to hand out negative commentary on the relationship with your dad.
Ask him to hold back his negative remarks because it makes you feel bad. If he truly loves you, he’ll think twice before saying anything like this again.
Father-daughter relationship is very important and meaningful, especially as a girl is growing up. In this article, however, our reader doesn’t want to raise the child his wife is bearing because she had got pregnant through a donor. He’ll have to decide whether he’ll bring up the child or leave his wife.