Hosting the perfect dinner can come with many challenges. People can have very different preferences when it comes to food, and accommodations might need to be made. A man got into a conflict with his sister when he found out she would only serve vegan dishes at the family reunion. He posted the story to Reddit, wondering what he should do about the situation.
A Redditor shared his family dilemma.
Hey all, I’m genuinely torn about this and need some clarity.
Every year, our family has a reunion where different members host. This year, it’s my younger sister’s turn. She’s been vegan for about 3 years and is quite passionate about it. We all respect her choices and make sure there are a good variety of vegan options whenever we have family gatherings.
When she announced she’ll be hosting, she also said that the entire menu would be vegan to align with her beliefs and that it’s a chance for the family to try something different. Some family members were excited, but others, including many of the older folks, were pretty upset and felt like they were being forced into her lifestyle, even if just for one meal.
I spoke to her privately and asked if she’d be open to including a few non-vegan dishes for those who aren’t keen on a full vegan menu. She got quite defensive, saying this was her chance to showcase veganism and that for one meal, everyone can give it a go.
I respect her beliefs, but I also think that forcing an entire family to adopt her choices, even if just for one meal, isn’t fair. She’s now upset with me for not being supportive and says I’m not respecting her choices.
Later, the poster came with updates.
Thought I would answer a couple questions here so they’re not lost in the comments:
- There is no set rota, the hosting goes to whoever wants to host most / hasn’t hosted before, in this case she wanted to host.
- We have managed to come to a compromise where people can bring their own food as long as it doesn’t contain meat, which I think is fair.
- Just for some more context, she works at a well known UK fast food place, so has no issues handling / preparing / serving meat, although I get that this can be different at home.
Netizens were mostly on the sister’s side.
- “It’s one meal, and she’ll be serving food that everyone can eat, and it’s perfectly possible for her to be an amazing host without catering to people’s preference for meat dishes.” AncastaOfTheRiver / Reddit
- “I’ve been a vegan for over 20 years. I wouldn’t attempt to cook meat for someone. I wouldn’t even know where to start. I’d order food with meat in it, or I would be fine with someone bringing a meat dish they prepared. Everyone has different comfort levels with meat and with vegan food.
On the meat eaters side, some vegan food can upset their stomachs if they aren’t used to imitation products. On the vegan side, I’m not comfortable handling raw meat and that’s pretty reasonable to not ask her to do it. It’s one meal, a compromise shouldn’t be this hard.” Snowconetypebanana / Reddit - “She’s not forcing a lifestyle on you, she’s hosting and cooking. She happens to be vegan, so she’s cooking a plant-based menu. Does your sister comment on everyone’s menu when they host? Do you all do this all the time, or is it just because it’s ‘vegan.’ You guys can go without meat product for 1 meal.” No-Gap2946 / Reddit