“I’m a relatively young mother-in-law, just 36 years old. I had my children at a young age, and I’ve been fortunate that my husband’s successful career allows me to be a stay-at-home mom. After my kids grew up a bit, my husband and I decided I would focus on homemaking and community involvement,” Susan shared with us.

I actively dislike my daughter-in-law.

Now, my oldest son, who is 23, recently got married, and I was initially excited until I met his wife, Carla. She’s a very business-oriented person, quite blunt, and to be honest, I find it hard to connect with her. Despite my personal feelings, I’ve been trying to be polite for the sake of my son.

There have been a few instances that bothered me, like when I hosted a dinner party, and she only thanked my husband for the delicious meal, as if I didn’t have any part in it. She also belittled my hobbies, suggesting that they’re not important because they don’t bring in money.

I’ve tried addressing these issues with both my son and her to clear the air.

During a gathering at my place last night, I spent hours preparing a homemade meal, pouring my heart into every dish. Yet, while I was in the kitchen, she made a cutting remark about how it’s no surprise I can cook, insinuating that I don’t have anything better to do with my time. The other day too when I showcased my latest artwork, and while I was explaining my creative process, she made a snide remark about how I must have a lot of free time since I’m always indulging in hobbies.

That comment especially was like a slap in the face. I couldn’t hold back anymore and told her she either respects me or gets out of my house. Despite her shock, she didn’t change her behavior, so I had no choice but to ask her to leave. Now, my son is livid with me, and we ended up having a heated argument over the whole ordeal.

Now, I’m seeking an outside opinion. Did I handle this situation correctly, or am I the one at fault here? Am I a bad MIL for demanding respect from my daughter-in-law, and if she can’t give it, is it justified to ask her to leave?

Advice from Bright Side

Yes, you over-reacted to a socially awkward jealous shrew. Grow up, tell her you don’t appreciate her little jealous barbs then ignore her.

Hi Susan! We appreciate you sharing your story with us here at Bright Side! We understand things are a bit chaotic for you. Here’s what we suggest:
  • Open Communication: Try having an open and honest conversation with your daughter-in-law. Share your feelings and concerns about the comments and behaviors that have been bothering you. A heart-to-heart talk can help both of you understand each other better.
  • Find Common Ground: Discover shared interests or common ground that can bring you closer. Whether it’s a hobby, a shared goal, or simply spending quality time together, finding commonality can help build a stronger connection.
  • Set Boundaries: Clearly communicate your expectations and boundaries in a respectful manner. Let her know what behavior is unacceptable and how it affects you. Establishing clear boundaries can create a more harmonious relationship.
  • Family Counseling: Consider involving a neutral third party, such as a family counselor, to facilitate communication and provide guidance. Professional help can be beneficial in resolving conflicts and improving understanding within the family dynamic.
  • Empathy and Understanding: Try to understand her perspective and motivations. People often have different ways of expressing themselves, and by understanding her background and experiences, you might gain insights into her behavior.
  • Lead by Example: Demonstrate the values you believe in through your actions. Show kindness, understanding, and patience. Leading by example can create a positive environment and inspire others to follow suit.

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