Special occasions are a great time to bring our family together and share joy. Nevertheless, these moments can sometimes be tinged with stress, especially when some of the family members don’t really get along. Amanda,  is seeking our advice. Her husband has requested their daughter to skip his birthday celebration because of underlying issues with his own daughter, who is planning to be present.

This is what Amanda wrote:

We appreciate your reaching out and entrusting us with your concerns Amanda!. Here, we offer some suggestions that we believe can be advantageous for your situation.

Initiate a peaceful conversation with Ben.

Begin a compassionate and composed discussion with Ben. Share that you caught snippets of his talk with Ruby and convey your sentiments using “I” statements to prevent any sense of blame.

Next, delve into Ben’s worries about Ivy and Ruby attending the party together. Nurture an open dialogue, ensuring both of you can freely express your feelings without criticism.
Use an understanding tone, saying, “Could you help me comprehend your reservations about Ruby and Ivy going to the event together?” This would foster empathy and establish a groundwork for a constructive conversation.

Suggest working together to find a solution.

Propose a middle ground that considers the emotions of both Ben and Ruby. Suggest gathering the family for a joint discussion to collectively define guidelines for the upcoming celebration. Stress the significance of cultivating a positive atmosphere that accommodates everyone.

In the meeting, work together to establish clear boundaries and expectations for conduct during the party, making sure each family member’s viewpoint is acknowledged and respected. This strategy aims to build a cohesive environment while addressing worries from all angles.

Encourage separate celebrations.

If you anticipate difficulties in harmonizing the attendance of both Ruby and Ivy at the party, contemplate endorsing individual celebrations.

Specifically, propose organizing a unique and significant day with Ruby on a separate occasion. Highlight the importance of each family member feeling esteemed and appreciated individually.

This method guarantees that everyone can enjoy their time with Ben without the potential for conflicts arising during the joint celebration.

Rethink the decision to cancel the party.

Before reaching a conclusive choice, revisit the idea of canceling the party. If Ben is open to discussing your apprehensions and finding a solution, proceeding with the celebration could be a constructive move.

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