It’s great when your loved ones make small surprises on special days like birthdays or Christmas. Our reader’s boyfriend convinced her that it was her day, and she could choose whatever she wanted, which led her to believe it was his birthday gift for her. However, the bill also ended up being hers.

Our reader reached out to us with a message.


Talk to him.

Sit down with your boyfriend and calmly tell him how his actions made you feel. Let him know that you were hurt and disappointed by his behavior.

Explain to him what you were expecting for your birthday celebration. If you were expecting him to cover the bill as a birthday treat, make sure he understands that. Sometimes, people have different expectations about who pays for what, so it’s important to clarify.

Rethink your relationship.

If what he said really hurt you, and you can’t see yourself getting over it, it might be time to take a step back and think about whether this relationship is right for you. This incident could be a sign that there are some unresolved issues between you two. If arguments about finances are a regular thing, it’s worth considering whether you share the same views in the long-term.

Discuss your expectations.

Tell your boyfriend how you want him to handle financial matters. Open up to him about your expectations and see if he truly understands you and accepts your point of view. You should also pay attention to his expectations and beliefs.

Try to reach a compromise if you disagree on a particular thing. Perhaps there’s a solution that’s been lying on the surface all this time, you just didn’t communicate your needs well enough.

Ask him to apologize.

Even if he didn’t want to pay for your meal, he could have at least lend you some money. He saw that you were struggling with the bill, but he ignored you. It seems like he doesn’t value you enough as he clearly doesn’t care whether you need help or not.

He abandoned you and didn’t offer any kind of help. Tell him that you were hurt by his indifference. It’s a big red flag if he gets defensive and blames you instead.

It’s hard to believe that some therapists can ruin your relationship. This is exactly what happened to our reader in this story. Her husband cheated on her with his therapist. It won’t be easy for her to trust such specialists again, but we’re sure she’ll get over it with time.

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