Most parents can’t wait to show off their new baby on social media, where friends and family quickly fawn over photos of the little nugget and offer their congratulations. But for those whose babies arrive stillborn, sharing the heartbreaking loss with others can be absolutely devastating. As a result, many choose to hold off on posting the news publicly until they’re ready or decide to only tell loved ones privately. That’s not the approach one grieving mom on TikTok recently took when she decided to share a series of dancing videos with her stillborn baby that are now going viral as she defends her decision to post them.
The videos were shared by TikTok user lex.issssson starting on May 18.
All appear to be shot just hours after the mother gave birth and was still recovering in the hospital.
In the first, the mother held her baby girl close to her chest, as the child lay motionless in her arms.
That alone sounds like a heartbreaking scene to take in – and the truth is, it would be if there weren’t some other details about the video that make it bizarre to many.
The mother’s face is obscured by a rainbow clown face filter, and the music playing in the background sounds oddly upbeat.
At the same time, the mother appeared to be focused more on her own image in the camera than she did on her little one, which made the entire video feel strangely out of sync with what’s just taken place.
“Waiting 8 months for you to come out with no heart beat,” the video caption reads, along with a sad face emoji
However, the caption takes a different tone.
“Dark humor at its finest,” the mother wrote, before asking TikTokers to let her “cope in peace.”
That message has left many online scratching their heads.
This isn’t the only video that lex.isssss shared, however.
Over the course of several days, the TikToker (whose real name is “Lexie,” according to Distractify) went on to share at least 12 clips with her stillborn baby.
Some of them were even more unexpected than the first — like one where she’s dancing to a hip hop song by DJ Yames as she continued to hold her daughter.
In another, she looked deep into her baby’s eyes while lip-synching to a voiceover clip from the canceled sitcom BoJack Horseman.
“I swear, you are like the only one I have left,” she mouthed to her baby with a look of intensity on her face. “I am this close to falling off the deep end. I know I’m smiling right now, but the light inside me is dying.
In another clip, she tries to share more of her personal story.
As she once again holds her baby in her arms, Lexie looks at the camera while a series of captions pop up on the screen.
In them, she explained that she is just 21 years old, and although people keep telling her how to feel about her stillbirth, she believes she should be able to cope in her own way — even if it doesn’t look “normal” to others.
Right now, that means she wants to feel comfortable looking at and talking to her baby, even if she’s technically no longer with her.
“It’s not a joke,” she concluded. “It’s my coping mechanism.”
But if that post earned her any empathy from viewers, her follow-ups may have squashed that.
Many other clips were shared of just her that appear to be filmed from her hospital room as she danced and lip-synched in response to the haters.
In one, she aggressively responded to those asking why she’s posting videos of her “dead baby.”
“STFU, I ain’t gotta explain [expletive\ to you!” the mother mouthed to a voiceover.
In another post caption, she wrote that she “wanted to make so many videos with my baby girl [as possible], but god had other plans for her.”
“Y’all please stop dragging me because I choose to still show her off,” she continued.
It may come as no surprise that the videos have gone massively viral in the last few weeks.
In the process, they’ve received millions of views, which has led to a fair amount of media coverage.
But at the same time, they’ve also received quite a bit of backlash, which ultimately led Lexie to disable the comment function so she wouldn’t have to hear from critics.
The bottom line is, two things can be true here …
On the one hand, the grieving mother does have the right to cope and grieve her baby in any way she sees fit, so long as it’s not hurting anyone.
But on the other hand? Social media users also have the right to react honestly to it, because her videos are on full display for public consumption and seem to make light of a sensitive and truly life-altering experience that impacts millions of families each year.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 1 in 160 deliveries ends in stillbirth each year, which equates to roughly 24,000 babies in the US annually.)
Even though the comments may be disabled on TikTok, that hasn’t stopped people from talking about this story on other platforms.
On Twitter, a lot of people voiced their grievances with the mother’s videos.
One person even called it “stomach-churning” to watch Lexie’s posts.
I cannot believe I just saw some videos on Tiktok of a woman dancing around and holding her stillborn baby. I get that she’s heartbroken, but seriously? Dancing around with your dead baby and posting that shit online? Disrespectful and distasteful. Stomach churning, too.
— Creative Name Cosplay (@CreativeNameCos) May 26, 2021There were a few people who expressed empathy for the young mother, who is clearly going through a lot.
“Please leave her be,” tweeted one person in response to the story. “Everybody grieves in different ways. Mums of still births are proud of their babies too.”
“I wouldn’t doubt she was in shock with everything that happened,” wrote another, who added that they “still find it highly disturbing seeing pictures and videos of a dead baby.”
That said, it’s their hope that the mother is at least getting the help she needs to cope with such a devastating loss — something that truly cannot be understated, because the rate of depression in women sharply increases after a stillbirth.
That girl posted 8 tiktok videos with her stillborn baby…she doesn’t need ppl to judge and bash her…she needs help…it’s honestly a cry for help. Remember ppl deal with grief in so many different ways, even the unhealthy ways too
— Dee (@ahwrightden) May 21, 2021“That girl posted 8 TikTok videos with her stillborn baby … doesn’t need ppl to judge and bash her,” tweeted one person. “She needs help.”