Finding a lifelong partner in a matter of days is pretty rare, but miracles happen. Unfortunately for our reader, it seems she’s still stuck on her ex. To make matters worse, he married her best friend, leaving her feeling completely crushed and betrayed.
Our reader sent us a message.
Let it go.
Life happens, people break up and find other partners. Your friend found her happiness in your ex. You broke up before their marriage. He wasn’t committed to you anymore, and even though Kate is your friend, she still has the right to love him (even if you don’t).
Let it go and accept it. You can’t change anything, and if you still have feelings for your ex after so many years, consider going to therapy.
Focus on your future.
It’s natural to dwell on the past, but try to focus on the future and your possibilities. Don’t shut everyone out of your life. There might be someone else who is way better than your ex.
Besides, your and your daughter’s well-being are the top priorities. Take care of yourself both emotionally and physically, and spend quality time with your daughter to strengthen your bond.
Forgive her or cut off contact.
If you feel that you can’t be friends with Kate anymore, don’t try to save this friendship. However, if you still want to keep in touch with her, forgive her and accept everything that’s happened. Bear in mind, you’ll have to occasionally see your ex-husband too, since he’s Kate’s husband and they probably live together. Think things through and decide what’s better for your mental health.
Give yourself some space.
It’s normal to feel hurt, betrayed, and confused in a situation like this. Don’t bottle up your feelings, instead grieve and let yourself feel all kinds of emotions. Eventually, you’ll feel better and will be able to look at situation from a different perspective. Don’t avoid all the negative feelings — shaking them off will not help you live through them.
Not all of us are lucky to get rid of our exes and start a new life. In this article, our reader’s ex wants her to be a surrogate because he doesn’t want to ruin his current wife’s body. It got to the point where he started stalking our reader, trying to convince her.